The Ebb and Flow of Grimdark
by kxdjfu
Summary: The process of going and being "grimdark", as well as being relieved of it, as told by "The Reclusive Seer" on a memoir that has both faded from memory and is yet to be written.


The following is an excerpt from a personal log/memoir that was stashed away in the universal servers of the Farthest Rim. It is unknown when this log was created, and it is impossible to speculate such a thing as it mentions things long forgotten as well as those that as of yet don't exist. Nothing is known of the author, save that he was one of a six-player SBurb session. He has not revealed his name in the logs, nor those of his teammates, but refers to himself as "The Reclusive Seer".

This passage speaks of the process of the SBurb mechanic known as "grimdark". As of yet, no other first-person record exists of the process of grimdark. The entry itself has no date, no time, no discerning marks, unlike that of other entries.

I could feel it, the darkness of the universe around me. It was both terrifying and awe-inspiring at once, along with countless other emotions and sensations I dare not attempt to describe either for fear of triggering such a thing again, or that my description may not be accurate enough.

They called to me, told me I was not alone, assured me of our victory, offered the power to win, the power to achieve all it was I sought. I needed only to reach out my hand and take the power for myself.

Then it happened.

I lost my mind. Or rather, I lost my grip on my own mind. They assured they would cover, they would do what I would in my stead. They deceived me, in short.

They took control of my body and mind, pushing my own consciousness to the back with haste. I could see myself as if from above, my clothes and complexion growing darker and darker still. The golden irises of my eyes turned crimson, and a sinister smile played its way across my face, widening until I feared my own head may split in two. This dark version of myself looked straight toward me, or where I seemed to be watching from, and let out a low chuckle the likes of which made me think I was being possessed by some demon.

Of course, I was not so lucky as that. This was no mere demon, but the horrorterrors of the Farthest Rim, widening the rift of pain and anguish that had ever so carefully manifested itself in my mind until they could force themselves through.

I could hear my robotic companion calling out to me, all too aware of what was going on. The Construct had manifested herself in the game long before I or any of my friends had begun to play, and such a development was of obvious concern to her.

Notice: The Reclusive Seer has made many references to "The Construct" before. She appears to be a self-aware Advanced Artificial Intelligence that has been hacked into SBurb itself. The Reclusive Seer makes mentions of hearing her in his head, leading to believe this AAI has the ability to remotely interface with minds as well as computers.

My friends fled at the sight of me, likely from The Construct's direction. I could only watch from afar as the beast in my own skin hunted them, though thankfully finding none. They would sometimes try to reach out to me over the instant messenger, though the beast seemed unaware of how to respond, or simply did not wish to. The Isolated Thief was the most persistent of all, gog bless her. Her words kept me fighting long after I felt hope was lost.

The beast would do terrible things, causing as much destruction and chaos as was physically possible. As you may know, in SBurb, the physically possible is drastically amplified. I only fought that much harder for control.

In a week's time, the beast had found my friends, with nowhere left to run. I threw all of my willpower into wresting control away, adamant to protect my friends. They charged one by one, knowing that death, in SBurb, was little more than a temporary inconvenience, and hoping beyond hope that such a thing would bring me back.

One by one, they were knocked aside by the beast, unconscious but alive. The Isolated Thief recuperated first, which did not go unnoticed by the beast. Just as it threw its bladed hand forward, I made one last push for control.

I failed. I gained control, but the blade in my hand was firmly centered in her stomach. She saw the darkness fade from my face, and gave a small laugh of victory. She slumped backward, and I caught her before she hit the ground. It did not matter to me that death was no more permanent here than a bruise, nothing is more painful than to see a friend you care about so profoundly die in your arms. I apologized for everything that had led to it, I cursed every deity in the Farthest Rim, knowing that none could hear me but myself.

I had defeated the beast, wrested control of myself away from it, but at a cost. To this day, every time I see The Isolated Thief, I remember holding her close, watching the life ebb away from her, and I turn away to hide the pain.

Never did such an event impact any of us so deeply than that moment...

The passage ends there, as the rest of the page is corrupted. It begins again on the next entry, dated the very next day from the one before the passage, with no mention of the events. It seems that this was thrown in as an afterthought, haphazardly placed out of order.

Efforts to recall the page itself were futile. It was now deleted by the very same who created it. We post this here as a reminder of the cost of letting ones emotions control their actions.

** Author's Note:**

** Hey, everyone. Made this as a sort of insight to grimdarkness, since I've seen very few works dealing with the affliction.**

** I know, I could have used Rose's grimdark experience, but I felt this would be much more profound. Plus, to be honest, Rose never did anything **_**that bad **_**when she was grimdark, just... kind of stupid. I mean, seriously, one-on-one with Bec Noir?**

** Anyway, thanks for reading! Feel free to review, follow, favorite, all that stuff. I'm out!**

** -D.J.**


End file.
